I have a Louise Hay day calendar (which I got for free for being a part of Hay House’s Book Nook), and I came home from Indiana to find that my husband put the page from Monday on our bathroom mirror.  The affirmation says:

I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself.  I choose to love myself as I am, right here and right now.

A big part of our inability to love ourselves comes from our inability to accept ourselves.  The majority of my own negative self-talk comes from me beating myself up over certain parts about me that I don’t like.  “Kim, you’re so emotional, stop being so dramatic!”  “You’re such a control freak, just calm down!”

I lived the majority of my life being so shameful of who I was that I just denied it and tried to pretend I was perfect – always.

We aren’t perfect – no one is.  Even those who, from the outside, look absolutely, utterly, blemish-free perfect.  They’re not.  And it could even be that they hurt more than most.

We live in an oppressive society.  We’re constantly told we aren’t good enough.  This has caused a mass epidemic of shame and guilt.  Brené Brown says that guilt is “I did something bad” and shame is “I am bad”.  Shame is far worse than guilt and is the root of the myriad of things we find wrong about ourselves.

Shame is what keeps us from accepting and loving ourselves.

And what is shame based on?  It’s based on false beliefs about who we really are.  Once we realize the innate goodness and divinity within us, then shame cannot exist, for the truth of who we are is so beautiful and magnificent that there is nothing we can find “bad” about it.

In order to release that shame, we have to accept ourselves.  We have to accept that, yeah, we might be a little crazy at times.  We might have done some really bad things in our past that we regret.  We might have made bad choices, done things we shouldn’t have or not done things we should have.  We might struggle with depression or anxiety, an inexplicable emotional turmoil that rocks our world every single day.  We might have been through some traumatic experiences which we’re still wondering “Why?” about.  We might have lost loved ones or ruined relationships.  The list can go on and on.

But no matter how “bad” it might get, it doesn’t define who we truly are.  In this new book I’m reading (IS by Faith Freed), she talks about being present and says that we’re all either rehashing or rehearsing 90% of the time.  Rehashing the past and all the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve’s – or rehearsing the future and obsessing over all we think is to come.

But the fact of the matter is, it’s all false.  Not true.  A lie.

Neither the past nor the present exist.  All that exists is the here and now.  So don’t get caught up rehashing all the shit you want to forget or rehearsing all the shit that’s stressing you out.  Accept yourself fully, as you are here and now.   You have the power to create every moment of your life as you want it to be.  You literally have a fresh start with every breath you take.

So release the self-loathing, shame, and guilt that is holding you back.  Release the pain, the anger, the heartache.  Choose to love and accept yourself as you are, right here, right now.  Then make sure every breath is put towards you becoming the version of you that you want to be.  Not the version of you that you want to forget.

Accept Yourself Meditation

I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself.  I choose to love myself as I am, right here and right now.

I accept myself for who I truly am, and I live each day as a new opportunity to live to my full potential.